of Montreal 

                                                        Paralytic Stalks

                                                             4.3/10

                                                         Recycling Bin 

Man. It really pains me to say this but the eleventh of Montreal album is really, really bad. It’s always tough to admit (especially to yourself) that a band you adore can make something so hideous. When I heard the lead single “Wintered Debts” from Paralytic Stalks I knew we were in deep trouble but I still held out for hope…hope that crushed my funky and groove loving soul after passing through Paralytic Stalks a rough 5 times.

Things are a total mess here. Now, there is no doubt Hissing Fauna is a classic. I even loved 2008’s Skeletal Lamping and placed it as my third favorite album of that year. In 2010 I thoroughly enjoyed False Preist and it fell in the number 20 spot for my favorite records that year. But this. I don’t even know. It’s like frontman Kevin Barns decided to release the in-betweens and missteps of his last few records. You know when teachers ask you to “show the work” when you do a math problem? This LP is like “the work” except Barns didn’t even get the answer right. 

Forget melodies and grooves and stunning pop structures. They’re pretty much extinct here. Instead we get experimental music, which maybe a 19-year-old version of myself would have liked but I’m 24 now and it’s just something I’m not interested in 2012. Sure, there are a few flashes of bright moments like on “Dour Percentage,” where the band uses flutes and saxophones but not enough to really make an impact. They’re just fleeting moments of an idea that could have been so much more. 

Another thing that is totally void on Stalks is Barns’ comic and brilliant songwriting. Yes this album is devoid of anything funny. The only thing that made me smile was on “Dour Percentage” when Barns chants “it’s your own personal ghetto.”  And that’s not even that good. 

The worst of the record though, comes towards the end — the last two tracks to be precise. The seven min. and 40 sec. “Exorcismic Breeding Knife” is just fucking terrible. Noise. But not even good noise or interesting noise. Just no, stop it Kevin what are you doing. Why would you put this on a record this isn’t something I want to hear from of Montreal. But if you thought things couldn’t get worse you roll onto the last track and realize that they do. The 13 min. cut is unbearable. Although it does start off rather nice but around the 5 min. mark you’re just like “oh fuck this shit again?” More painful noise.

But maybe this shit is your bag. Cool. But even the non-experimental stuff is a drag. “Ye, Renew the Plaintiff” has no personality and we finally come to the moment where we realize of Montreal has become a parody of itself. This is what I expect the band to make but not in a good way. A typical and half assed way. Not to say Barns didn’t put any effort into this record you can tell that he did but everything is just wrong and exhausted. 

Sure False Preist wasn’t Hissing Fauna or even Skeletal Lamping but I did not see a record like this coming, at least anytime soon. Kevin Barns is totally out of touch here and goes for something that is neither aesthetically pleasing or interesting. Things are just bad, bad, bad on Paralytic Stalks as it lacks the charm and well crafted hooks almost every single of Montreal record has. Stalks does not fit in their discography and instead sounds like the bastard cousin that no one treats well at family functions. 

Listen (if you dare) to “Wintered Debts” below: